Writing
Can you give advice for a first-time writer of a fundraising letter?
Where can I get help writing a fundraising letter?
How can I write better thank you letters?
How much information is needed in a Thank You letter?
How important is personalization?
Is a personalized letter always better?
What's the best way to address a donor we don't know personally?
What's the best way to open a generic letter?
Should we spend time and money fixing our inconsistent writing?
Should we send letters without signatures?
Is it OK to personally sign just those who donated $500 or $1,000 and over?
Could you suggest some wording if we're re-sending a letter to donors?
Where's the best place to put donor-specific information in a thank you letter?
How to label different giving levels.
In what order should ask amounts be listed?
Is it necessary to indicate the amount of money raised in a donor newsletter?
Is there another word for White Mail?
Is "renewal date" a better expression than "expiration date"?
Do testimonials help?
Are client stories helpful even if they increase copy length?
Is it appropriate for our VP to write a fundraising appeal about her personal experience?
Is it ethical to create a fictional story in a direct mail piece?
Does removing pledge amounts work?
Is it appropriate to reference the death of our Chief Religious Authority in an appeal?
What should we include in our E-newsletter?
What writing style is best for newsletter articles?
What should we ask in a questionnaire?
What should be included in a lapsed member survey?
Does gender order matter when addressing a couple?
Can I send an appeal to a congregation, rather than to each individual member?
What's the right length for a direct mail letter?
How long should a year-end appeal letter be?
Are longer appeal letters better?
Can a one-page letter be effective?
What's the best approach when writing an appeal to internal staff?
Can you recommend or suggest a standard telephone fundraising speech?
Can you give advice for a first-time writer of a fundraising letter?
I am in charge of writing a sponsorship and item donation letter and I have no idea what to say or even how to start. Help me please. This letter is for a dinner and dance for seniors. These donations will help keep the price down for the seniors and us at the same time.
Mal answers: It would be difficult for me to convey in a brief email message an answer that's detailed enough to give you the help you need. If you'll be writing more letters like this, I suggest you obtain a copy of my book, How to Write Successful Fundraising Letters.
With that said, however, here are a couple of pointers:
(1) Decide who will sign the letter, and write it from that person's point of view. Make it as personal as you can.
(2) Start the letter with "I am writing you because . . ." and continue in that vein. Use "I" and "you" liberally. Don't use "we" more than is absolutely necessary.
(3) Don't be shy about asking for exactly what you need. Be very explicit. Don't beat around the bush.
Where can I get help writing a fundraising letter?
We would like to approach local businesses to solicit support for our girls' softball team and feel the need to have a letter for the girls and parents to bring along. I need help putting together the right message. Where can I find that help?
Mal answers: Under the circumstances, the only thing I can suggest is to obtain a copy of my book, How to Write Successful Fundraising Letters. You won't find an example in it of a letter that meets exactly that purpose, but it will help you learn the basic rules to follow. The book has sold very widely and is available in many libraries as well as online through either my Web site or Amazon.com.
How can I write better thank you letters?I am looking to jazz up our thank you letters to our donors and members. I have searched the net and have come to a dead end. Do you know of any websites that could help me with examples of other thank you letters? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Mal answers: I don't know of any resources on the Web specifically about writing thank-you letters. My book, How to Write Successful Fundraising Letters, deals briefly with the topic and includes a terrific letter as an example. There may also be examples in Roland Kuniholm's book, which I think is entitled something like Model Fundraising Letters (my copy's out on loan).
Good luck, and thank you for writing!
How much information is needed in a Thank You letter?
We know it's important to thank donors promptly. Our question concerns how much "administrative detail" needs to be included in the letter. Should the amount be mentioned? If part of the gift is for one purpose (dues) and another part is for another, must that be included? Is it important to mention the particular appeal the donor responded to? We have tended toward more rather than less, consequently complicating the process so much that the goal of promptness is being thwarted.
Mal answers: I think you're on the right track. It would be ideal to include all the donor history information pertaining to a gift -- what you call "administrative detail" -- but if that's slowing down your acknowledgements, it's wise to look for ways to simplify the process. To my mind, there are only three essential bits of information in a personalized thank-you: the donor's name and address; the amount of the gift; and the date you received it. If you can squeeze out those basic bits of information and get your acknowledgements into the mail without delay, you'll probably be better off.
How important is personalization?
I'm about to print our Thanksgiving appeal letter and our printer is telling us not to bother with a personalized salutation. Will this dramatically affect our response rate?
Mal answers: Watch out! If your printer doesn't want to "bother" with personalization, it may be that he doesn't have the capacity to do it effectively.
In fact, personalization can have a very strong effect on results. Mostly, it's a question of whom you're writing to. For most of your own donors, personalization is probably essential. For non-donors, it may not make any difference at all. (But that, in turn, depends on the message. Some appeals work only with personalization.)
Is a personalized letter always better?
Can you direct me to quantifiable data that proves personalization is more effective than a "Dear Friend" letter? Whatever you can give me, I will appreciate. Thanks.
Mal answers: I'm sure that vendors of personalized laser-printing or similar services can cite chapter and verse proving just that. But, in reality, personalization is not always more effective than a generic approach.
The key variable, I think, is the cost of personalization relative to not personalizing. If personalizing adds substantially (in proportional terms) to the cost of an appeal, it's important that the target audience be one that could reasonably be expected to respond generously and at a high rate.
As a result, I rarely use personalization in any sort of prospecting. And I typically omit names of donors of less than $25 from personalized mailings. Those decisions are the result of numerous direct mail tests over the years -- tests that establish personalization doesn't always work better.
With that said, I must emphasize that personalization involves a lot more than simply including the addressee's name and address in the text of a letter and/or response device. To be optimally effective, personalization requires using other data from a donor file -- such items as the amount of the last gift (or of the highest previous gift), how many years a donor has been on the file, and so forth. Mentioning such things in a letter provides a compelling case that you're really writing to an individual, not just a name on a list.
Good luck to you, and thanks for writing!
What's the best way to address a donor we don't know personally?
What's your opinion about sending a "dear friend" letter to current donors asking them to renew their support? I'm guessing that you will suggest we personalize. If we personalize, what's the best way to address a current donor that we don't know personally? (Dear Joe, or Dear Mr. Smith)?
Mal answers: You're right, I suggest you personalize. The merits of personalization as it's generally understood are overblown. However, it's been clearly established that personalization can boost response and average gift significantly with existing donors — when it's properly used. The qualification is important.
To use personalization correctly, it's important to get past the use of name, address, and salutation, and to dig into your database for specific information that will bring an appeal to life. For example: "Last year you generously contributed $150. When you renew your support for 2005, will you consider increasing that amount to $200?" Anything specific about a donor will help get her attention, and it will enhance the Ask.
Now for your question about the salutation. This is, as you suggest, a little tricky. There's no blanket solution. Some of my clients opt for first-name salutations on a consistent basis — because they project an informal personality and might tend to have younger rather than older donors. Others are much more formal.
Unless you know a great deal about your donors and their preferences, there are disadvantages to both approaches. A "Mr. Joseph Schwartz" might despise being called "Joseph." And a "Eloise M. Shafer" could insist that she's "Miss Shafer" or "Mrs. Shafer" and not "Ms. Shafer."
So, either way, you pays your money and takes your chances.
What's the best way to open a generic letter?
Two of our appeals each year (Year end and Spring) each include an unaddressed component. Do you have any suggestions as to how to open the letter? We currently use "Dear Friend", but everyone uses this. Our appeals are across three provinces so using "Neighbour" does not seem to be correct.
Mal answers: I don't have a clue what your mission is, so I can't suggest anything clever and specific. For instance, an environmental organization might write to its supporters as "Dear Friend of the Environment" or an animal-protection group at "Dear Animal-Lover," but I don't know whether you might develop something similar. Instead, you might go with another generic approach: "Dear Donor" or "Dear Supporter." That has two obvious virtues: it's more focused on your relationship with the recipients, and it's different from the run-of-the-mill direct mail convention.
Should we spend time and money fixing our inconsistent writing?
Our annual fundraising letter is ready to be mailed. Our president noted that on some of the letters, we are both informal and formal in our address and salutation. For example, the envelope and top of letter is addressed to "Joe Smith, 123 Street, City, State, ZIP"
The letter salutation says "Dear Mr. Smith". Our president is having us re-do these letters to say "Mr. Joe Smith, 123 Street, ..", to match the formal "Dear Mr. Smith". To me, this is a waste of time and money. I don't think that Joe is going to notice or care that the mailing address is less formal than the salutation.
Please let me know what you think about this subject. Do you feel that people notice this kind of thing, and even if they did, would it prevent them from making a donation?!?!
Mal answers: I'm with you. Your president's objection seems over the top. I can't imagine that I would notice the discrepancy, and I tend to scrutinize things very carefully.
Should we send letters without signatures?
We are sending four personalized letters to the members of our congregation: TY for received payments, TY for pledges w/request to pay, LYBUNT letters, and Acquisition Letters. Last 4 years we sent those letters with two scanned signatures of the President and VP of Development. Our new President asked to remove both signature blocks completely from three of those four letters, so practically those letters become anonymous (except for the staff and board listing on our letterhead.) I'm quite confused by this request, so I tried to find any information/discussion on this matter in your book and on the Internet without any success. I never saw anonymous fundraising letters, but I work in this field just over 10 years, so I decided to ask you, since you have over 40 years of fundraising and consulting experience worldwide. What's your opinion on this matter?
Mal answers: Under no circumstances should you accede to this request! There's no such thing as a letter without a signature. In fact, research has shown that the most-read item in a letter is the signature. Without it, your communication becomes a brochure or a press release, not a letter. And people respond to letters, not to press releases.
Is it OK to personally sign just those who donated $500 or $1,000 and over? We send out thousands of personalized thank you letters during the year - with our Executive and Deputy Director personally signing thousands, along with a personal note which is overwhelming. QUESTION: Is it OK to personally sign just those who donated $500 or $1,000 and over? And the rest scan our ED's signature as part of the letter? We need to get the number of handwritten signatures down. Thank you - you're always very helpful!
Mal Answers: You and I are on the same wavelength. Signing thousands of thank-yous per year -- plus appending personal notes to them all -- is daunting.
Still, is it a good idea to do this? Does it increase donor loyalty, boost response, and ultimately help you raise more money? Yes, yes, and yes.
Nonetheless, your top executives are spending an inordinate amount of time on this task, time that could no doubt be better used elsewhere. So I agree with your instinct to establish a cut-off point. However, I suggest you factor the following considerations into your decision:
(1) Set the cut-off point as low as you can comfortably put it. You should be able to count the number of gifts at and above each level, then calculate the average number of thank-yous required at each level on a weekly or daily basis. If each of your top two executives had to handle two personalized thank-yous daily, would that be a burden? Or one? Check it out. Don't just arbitrarily set a dollar limit.
(2) Try to take into account factors other than the gift amount. For example, if you could include all new donors in this practice, it would help boost your first-year renewal rate. If you could flag those donors who have been giving for, say, 10 years or longer, that would be good, too. Use your judgment about who are the most important people on your donor file.
Good luck, and thanks for writing again!
Could you suggest some wording if we're re-sending a letter to donors?
We would like to retest the "Wave" concept in our next prospect mailing, adding a stamped "COPY" on the letter that we're re-sending. Would you please suggest an appropriate hand-written note to accompany this? 2003
Mal answers: "Wave concept," eh? You Canadians do have a way with words!
So, all right. You want to add a handwritten note — presumably on the "COPY" itself — that will both explain why you're sending a copy and reinforce the ask, while allowing for the possibility that the addressee may already have responded. It also needs to be very brief, of course.
I suggest you try something along the following lines:
"I'm sending you a copy of a letter I mailed to you xx weeks ago, because I want to be sure that I convey the urgency and importance of this appeal. If your response has crossed this letter in the mail, thank you! If not, please take this opportunity to send a gift today to . . ."
Where's the best place to put donor-specific information in a thank you letter?
In a thank you letter, is it more personal or less personal for a donor to be specifically thanked for the amount he gave including the date the gift's received in the body of the acknowledgement letter? I prefer that way, but after reading your latest newsletters some of us are thinking of keeping the gift amount and gift date out of the body of the letter and putting it in the P.S. with the tax deductible language.
Mal answers: This is one of those "six-of-one/half-a-dozen of the other" questions. In either case, you'd be including that information in the letter. I'm not sure it really matters which of those two places the information appears — although it would seem more natural to me to include it in the lead of the letter. (The tax-deductible language could follow either later in the letter or in the P.S.).
How to label different giving levels.
In our year-end appeal to lower level donors (renewal) and visitors (aquisition), I am considering adding discriptions to the giving levels, replacing the usual "patron", "supporter" etc., with descriptions of the kinds of projects their gift supports with a general gift to the organization. But I want to be careful to NOT restrict these gifts or mislead our donors. Here is the text I am considering: Yes! I will support the programs of (our organization). Gifts to (our org) operations fund projects such as: $65 helping to grow plants $90 underwriting a student's visit $150 assisting with trail maintenance etc... My intent is to 'color' the giving levels, but I want to be careful that I am not restricting our gifts or misleading our donors. What's your advice? Thank you!
Mal answers: The approach you're suggesting is common in direct mail fundraising appeals. It's not necessarily either good or bad. All depends on the appropriate selection of giving levels and examples. When well done, it's more compelling than lame categories such as "patron" and "supporter," in my opinion.
It's critical, though, that the same giving levels -- and, ideally, the examples of what gifts of those amounts will buy -- be identical in the text of the letter. I'm sure you'll do this, but I feel the need to point this out, as the device's effectiveness will diminish greatly without the repetition.
In what order should ask amounts be listed?
I recently got a piece in my own mail from the Salvation Army, and the string was as follows:
[ ] $65 [ ]$55 [ ]$100 [ ]other
Why do you think the amounts were listed in this order?
What is the best way to order your donation ask amounts on a reply form — lowest to highest, or highest to lowest? For example, should a reply form gift amounts read "$25 $50 $100 Other", or "$100 $50 $25 Other"?
Mal answers: There's no "best" way to do this. Like just about every other detail in direct mail fundraising, this matter is testable. There are some practitioners who hold that the gift string should be ascending in donor or member acquisition mailings and descending in house file mailings. Presumably, they tested this question and found those arrangements advantageous.
A big mailer like the Salvation Army probably tests this sort of thing regularly. Either this is one of those tests, or previous tests have determined that it produces better results. Irregular sequences like this occasionally work well. All I can say, though, is that it's wise to test when in doubt.
Is it necessary to indicate the amount of money raised in a donor newsletter?
In keeping up with the transparency principle in fundraising, is it a "must" for organizations to indicate the amount of money raised in a donor newsletter? We just ran our first direct mail campaign, and this newsletter will be our first.
Mal answers: Within the United States, it's common practice for the term "financial transparency" to be interpreted as meaning that a nonprofit organization will publish an annual report, make it available to all its donors, and offer it free of charge to anyone who requests a copy. Outside the U.S., as you know, even these practices are rarely observed, so if you do that much, you'll probably be way ahead of most of your competition.
With that said, however, there have been — and still are — moves underway in state legislatures across the United States to require nonprofits to disclose financial details about each individual solicitation. To the best of my knowledge, no such legislation has yet been passed and approved by the courts. My colleagues and I all believe that such requirements would be unfair and unnecessarily onerous — partly because the reporting procedures would impose extra work on hard-pressed nonprofits, and partly because the financial details of any single solicitation are meaningful only in the context of the fundraising program as a whole.
For example, a nonprofit may choose to make little or no profit in acquiring new donors, knowing that over time those donors will respond to other solicitations that will return considerable net revenue. That's why it makes little sense to tell prospective donors how much the original solicitation cost and how much revenue it was expected to yield.
Is there another word for White Mail?
Do you know of a term other than White Mail we can use as a line item on our revenue budget to describe. . . well. . . White Mail? I've asked my direct marketing consultant, scoured 2 of your books and consulted the AFP Dictionary. My boss is seeking this term, but I'm at a loss.
Mal answers: Yes, I can see how the term "white mail" could be problematic in some circumstances. It's the traditional term, but there's nothing sacred about it, right? So, here are a couple of alternatives:
* Miscellaneous mail
* Unattributed gifts
* Unknown source
* Over-the-transom
Well, you get the point. Make up your own alternative -- the sky's the limit!
Is "renewal date" a better expression than "expiration date"?
We were just brainstorming about supercharging our local membership program when we hit upon the idea of killing the term "expiration date" and replacing it with "renewal date." We thought it was a positive term and a call to action. Do you have experience with organizations that have tried this, know something we do not, or have an opinion about this?
Mal answers: You bet I have an opinion! Whenever there's a positive alternative available, take it. In fact, in this specific case, I can't recall a single instance in which I've used the phrase "expiration date." At most, I would refer to one's membership "lapsing" or "becoming inactive."
Do testimonials help?
I would like to know your position about including a testimony in a direct mail letter. We are sending a letter for the purchase of an equipment for our cancer research center. I would like to include the testimony of one of our staff scientists who trained at the National Institute of Health (NIH) in Maryland, where he had access to that specific piece of equipment. In the quote he says how much that equipment was useful for his research at the NIH and that he hopes the Montreal Cancer Institute will be able to acquire one that will help not only his own research, but that of the whole team of researchers.
Mal answers: Without question, a testimonial of the sort you have in mind should be a plus in your appeal. Its impact will be strengthened to the extent that the researcher underlines the Ask by emphasizing that a gift from the reader will help the Montreal Cancer Institute continue to do world-class research (assuming that's true!).
In fact, this sort of testimonial is often couched as a "lift letter," a shorter letter that supplements the main appeal, usually appearing on a sheet of paper that's of a different size that masquerades as personal notepaper (often tinted a mild pastel shade) and is printed in a different typeface.
Are client stories helpful even if they increase copy length?
Do you have any results regarding the use of stories in direct mail fundraising letters? I have clients who question whether it is "really" effective to include stories of the people their organization has helped because it results in longer letter copy — and they feel that today's donors don't have time to read longer letters. Intuitively, I tend to think that a brief, powerful story of a person who has been helped communicates the organization's mission and accomplishments more effectively than an intellectual appeal. Do you know of any tests or do you have any definitive results about this?
Mal answers: I wish I could give you a helpful and direct answer to your question. However, I know of no way to test this proposition in anything like a comprehensive way. Copy tests are necessarily unique to each organization, so what one nonprofit experiences when testing a story versus a more businesslike approach wouldn't necessarily be applicable to another nonprofit.
It sounds like the real question here is about the classical matter of copy length. There, too, it's hard to generalize, but I can certainly tell you that long copy still "sells," as the time-honored conventional wisdom would have it. Not always, of course, and not in all circumstances. But, most of the time, a fuller exposition of the case for giving is more successful than one that's arbitrarily limited because a mailer wants to keep a letter to one page or two pages.
Is it appropriate for our VP to write a fundraising appeal about her personal experience?
Our parent company operates 11 retirement communities in Ohio. We are currently writing a solicitation to resident family members asking for a gift in honor of a staff member who's been special in the life of their loved one. We'd like a personal touch, however we cannot do a family testimonial for each location. And, no family member could speak about care given in other OPRS locations. The mother of our Assoc. VP of Communications is currently a resident in one of our Alzheimer's facilities. Our VP is always telling me wonderful stories about staff care. She also has seen our staff in action at our other sites, and has spoken to many family members over the years (often they are donors) and so knows much about the care given in our other facilities. Is it appropriate to have our VP write and sign the solicitation to family members? She would include her personal experiences with her mother, but her experience as a longtime staff member make it possible for her to speak from a statewide perspective. Does this somehow cross a line? Is it appropriate?
Mal answers: I think you've come up with an excellent fundraising idea. Naturally, the letter would have to be sensitively written. But I see no reason why this would "cross the line." After all, the best fundraising appeals are the ones that are most personal -- and it's hard to imagine a letter any of you on the staff could send that would be more personal than this.
Is it ethical to create a fictional story in a direct mail piece?
In my direct mail piece, I want to tell a story about one of the children we have helped in our youth mentoring programs. Is it misleading or unethical to create a fictional child and story?
Mal answers: Over the years, I've worked with nonprofit organizations that have answered this question both positively and negatively. Some folks contend that anything other than a completely accurate individual story — including the individual's name — is misleading and possibly unethical. Others insist that getting the essentials right is all that's necessary — that a truly representative story (usually a composite of several real cases) is quite enough. Still other people advance the view that it's best to use a true case history but disguise the individual's name ("Mary," "little Joey," etc.). It's your call, really.
For what it's worth, I'm comfortable with either the second or third approaches; I feel that the first, hard-line approach is unnecessarily narrow.
Does removing pledge amounts work?
In Ken Burnetts Zen book he briefly mentions removing the amounts on pledge forms. We are a small org - not much time for expensive detailed mailings. We send out a simple letter asking for money - people send money. Usually 4 segments with pledge forms with specific amounts. What is Ken talking about? Should I just try one pledge form with "give as generously as you are able" or Please make Lake Simcoe your priority" Would that work?
Mal answers: This is a good question -- but, unfortunately, one I can't answer definitively. In Ken's Zen of Fundraising, he's reporting on an approach that a few mailers have tried and found successful. I've also heard of mailers who've tested this approach and found it didn't work for them.
My sense is that this technique is more likely to work with generous donors than with those at the bottom of the pyramid. If you're feeling brave, you might consider testing this on, say, your second-highest segment in a future mailing. If that segment consists of a large enough number of donors, then you could test the technique by splitting them into two groups. But I suspect you won't have enough to make this a valid test.
This approach entails risk. However, those for whom it has worked report that it occasionally brings in gifts at a very high level -- not from the majority, but from a rare individual here or there.
It's your call.
Is it appropriate to reference the death of our Chief Religious Authority in an appeal?
The Chief Religious Authority for Sikh Dharma passed away last week. It is because of his endless service and teachings that our organization exists. But on our mailing list only a small portion know him in this way — maybe two thousand out of 9500. They know of him but don't have that strong personal experience of him. For the Year-end campaign, do we reference his death, and do we in any way bring that in as a reference in encouraging people to give more since his passing?
Mal answers: Please accept my condolences on your loss. I understand what it is to lose a beloved teacher and inspiring leader. I know the pain you must be feeling.
Still, as you have made clear, it is your responsibility to think of your organization's financial health. It's natural that you would consider the possibility of asking your members to give gifts in memory of your late leader. Despite your doubts that your members would think of him in the same emotional way that you do, I would strongly encourage you to do so. In fact, I suggest that you consider forming a memorial fund. Depending on the state of your organization's finances, you might dedicate the fund either to some urgent current purpose — something dear to your departed leader's heart — or constitute it as an endowment that might be used to help finance future activities for all posterity. I have had very positive experiences following this course of action in somewhat similar circumstances. If my own experience is any guide, you may be surprised at the depth of emotion that comes to light on behalf of your members. They may feel they knew him far better than you think.
What should we include in our E-newsletter?
We are a smaller nonprofit in the Midwest, but we are a national program. We have done a lot of work on our web site this past year, and are now ready to generate our first ever email newsletter in conjunction with our Christmas direct mail campaign. We are planning to include the text of the snail mail letter, an anti-spam disclaimer, 4 links to our website that encompass basic information about our program, specific strategies that we employ (as most of our audience will be school professionals), a link to fun things that have been going on, and then a link to our donation page. We will also have an "opt out" and a "please forward." My question: Are we missing anything?
Mal answers: What makes you think that anyone will actually read an email that contains all the items you're proposing?
Granted, there are indeed email newsletters that contain many, many hundreds of words, but they tend to be either (a) from famous people who can expect that many folks will plow through everything or (b) from organizations that command instant name recognition and are sought out for information by thousands of people. As a "smaller nonprofit," I suspect you don't fall into either of these categories.
Of course, you could use a sentence or a short paragraph to "tease" each item, following it with a link to your Web site, so that the newsletter itself includes many fewer words and can be quickly assimilated. That's a partial solution.
Only partial, however. To be really concrete, I suggest that you do not post the full text of your Christmas appeal (except possibly as a way for those who want more detailed information to get it). The Web, including email, is a medium quite different from snail mail. You'd be better off crafting an online appeal that's (1) much, much shorter than your letter, (2) really focused on some one or a very few salient and dramatic facts, (3) is creative or amusing or otherwise truly engaging, and (4) that unmistakably conveys great urgency, ideally with a prominent deadline.
What writing style is best for newsletter articles?
When writing newsletter stories about those helped by the ministry/organization, is it more effective (from a fundraising perspective) for those stories to be written in first person, or third person? Or is there any significant difference?
Mal answers: Truth is, I really don't know the answer to this question; I'm not at all sure there is any single right answer. It depends, in part, on the format you use in your newsletter. If it's structured as first-person stories, then I'd say stick to that format. If it takes a more journalistic approach, then use third-person items. In either case, though, it's important to quote the client or beneficiary of your work. And those quotes should be credible -- not edited to death. Your readers have to believe that the client could actually write or say such things. Whether first-person or third-, the objective is to narrow the gap between the donor and the beneficiary.
What should we ask in a questionnaire?
[At a recent workshop] Mal mentioned using a questionnaire numerous times. What kind of questions should I include on it?
Mal answers: There's no easy answer to this question. Questionnaires or surveys can be used in a wide variety of ways — from thank-you or welcome packages, to donor acquisition letters, to renewals and special appeals, and to planned giving prospects. Questionnaires, properly conceived and designed, can be an excellent way to involve donors. But the circumstances and the purposes of these questionnaires vary widely.
What should be included in a lapsed member survey?
I would like to send an exit questionnaire to members who have not responded to 3 renewal letters, asking them why they did not wish to renew - was it because the did not agree with our policies or was it apathy. (I am hoping they will renew.) What questions do you think I should ask?
Mal answers: Good question! And you're positioned squarely on the right track. If fundraising is about building strong relationships with donors, then a donor's failure to renew represents a breakdown in that relationship. How appropriate, then, to ASK a donor why she hasn't renewed!
The questionnaire approach you're describing is what I normally term a "lapsed donor reactivation package." Typically, I send such packages later in the cycle -- after, say, 18 months of nonresponsiveness. But there's nothing at all wrong with placing it as, in effect, the fourth renewal notice.
You already know the questions to ask, I"m sure. Ask what you want to know -- just don't make it difficult for the donor to respond. For example, include a multiple-choice question listing several possible reasons why the donor has lapsed (with an open-ended one labeled "Other"). Be sure to include the following two possible reasons: "I just haven't gotten around to it. I am enclosing my renewal gift . . ." and "I didn't realize my membership had lapsed." Also, be sure to add an opportunity for comments or questions.
Just one other word of caution: don't ask more than a few questions. Ideally, this "Lapsed Member Survey" (or whatever you call it) would fit neatly on one side of a small sheet of paper.
Does gender order matter when addressing a couple?
When you are writing to a couple, is it proper to put the woman's name before the man's name? The question was brought up by some of our board members that this is the way that all letters should be addressed, and I was curious what your thoughts were regarding this.
Mal answers: I'm not aware of any rule of grammar or etiquette that dictates the woman's name must go first. In fact, I believe that — in our traditionally male-dominated society — it's the other way around. However, as a long-time feminist, I agree with those board members who advocate female primacy. To me, it seems to make an important point. Anyway, why not put the names in that order? No reason I can think of!
Can I send an appeal to a congregation, rather than to each individual member?
I am putting a booklet together with essays from different Rabbis throughout the Midwest. My budget is tight and I wanted to know, if I send a box of books with our envelope inside to each congregation to give out, rather than mail each book to each congregant, what are my chances for a good response? Thank you.
Mal answers: It's possible that having the congregation distribute the books could be advantageous -- if those who hand out the books are fully supportive of the appeal contained in the book and will go out of their way to push it.
I suspect, though, that that would be expecting too much. If a more casual process without reinforcement is likely, you might be better off shipping the books individually. That way a cover letter could reinforce the importance of the appeal.
What's the right length for a direct mail letter?
Is there any research I can get my hands on regarding the lenght of Direct Mail letters, and what works best?
Mal answers: My rule of thumb is to make your letters as long as they need to be to make the case for giving.
In donor acquisition efforts, it's rare that you can accomplish that in one page or less. Four-page acquisition letters are common in North America, because we reason that we must make every argument and respond to every objection we can imagine. Membership or donor renewal letters are usually much shorter, often just one page. Special appeals might be anywhere in between. My experience confirms that this rule of thumb is wise.
You ask for "research" that supports this (or any other) set of assumptions about the length of fundraising appeals. The only such research that I would respect is the research we do when we test. And that sort of research applies only to an individual organization at a given point in time. However, having tested these questions many times over the years, I'm comfortable advancing the rule of thumb I've cited.
If you want "proof," I can't give it to you. All you can do is test it for yourself!
How long should a year-end appeal letter be?
How long can or should a year-end appeal letter be? My board seems to feel it has to be 1 page.
Mal answers: A year-end appeal — like any other fundraising letter — needs to be as long as necessary to make the case for giving.
There are circumstances in which a one-page letter will suffice. But that's typically not the case in a year-end appeal, which normally needs to recap the ways in which a donor's gift has helped the organization achieve its goals in the past year — and the ways in which another gift for the donor will advance the organization's agenda in the year ahead.
Your board is, like most boards, relying on its own preferences and convictions. That's rarely a reliable guide when it comes to fundraising letters. As fundraisers, we're concerned about donors' behavior. And their behavior makes clear that, most of the time, a one-page letter isn't long enough to answer the questions that donors might have.
Are longer appeal letters better?
My design firm suggested a longer letter with shorter paragraphs as the way to go for an appeal letter. That defies what I learned before about keeping appeals to one page to capture people's short attention span. And does adding a P.S. help?
Mal answers: The most constructive response I can give you is to suggest that you read my book, How to Write Successful Fundraising Letters. Those — and many other — questions are answered in detail.
The shortest answers are (a) Write as long a letter as you need to write to make the case for giving, which is sometimes — but not all that often — a one-page letter, and (b) Writing an effective P.S. (not just any P.S.) will significantly increase readership of your letter.
Can a one-page letter be effective?
A few colleagues in my department are of the strong opinion that I should keep my usual 2 to 3 page appeals down to one page and include a project brochure or other piece to give detail alongside the letter. I am of the understanding that this is not advisable, and in fact usually causes a drop in response rate. They, however, feel certain that people are too busy and disinterested to read a letter longer than one page. Any thoughts?
Mal answers: Please don't be swayed by your colleagues' opinions about the length of your fundraising letters. There are circumstances in which it's advisable to use one-page letters, but it doesn't sound as though this is one of those special cases. Typically, it's impossible to make the case for giving in a single page.
You're also right to be wary of including brochures in your appeals. There, too, circumstances sometimes suggest that one might be valuable; but the only brochures I've made work over the years have been included strictly to illustrate the benefits that accrue to a donor for giving in response to the appeal. It's almost always inadvisable to include a descriptive or illustrative brochure. In a letter, you can establish a dialogue with the reader (and, in fact, should be doing so). In a brochure, that's just not possible.
What's the best approach when writing an appeal to internal staff?
Mal answers: The following guidelines might make sense: be sure before you write that staff will be receptive to an appeal and won't laugh it off; avoid the sort of jargon and rhetoric that fill marketing brochures; and write in a casual manner, as though you're having a conversation around the proverbial "water cooler." If you can structure the appeal as a competitive game among the departments, all the better.
Can you recommend or suggest a standard telephone fundraising speech?
What should the content be to maximize results?
Mal answers: The simplest and most direct answer to your question is "no." There is technique involved in writing a telemarketing script, but if every script isn't unique, it's a waste of time, energy, and (probably) money.
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